after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
