I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
