All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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