i wish my penis had a tongue
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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