Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
