At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
