Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
