Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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