Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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