Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
