Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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