whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
