There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
