I'm really into asian looking animals
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
