So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
