Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
