ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's never too late to be topless.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
