some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
