The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
