I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
