Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
