respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
