goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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