So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
