That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
