What a fucking waste of an outfit
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
