I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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