awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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