he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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