i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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