I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
