new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
