Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
