D3 body, D1 cock
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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