Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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