If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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