You don't have asthma, your pregnant
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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