And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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