drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
