i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
