Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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