why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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