yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
As shirtless as possible
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
