How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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