hell yes lets make some ravioli
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
