Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I love you. Go after that dick
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
