So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i dont even know how to be here
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
