is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
