u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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