But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
